


Bad Case of Loving You

by Sparrow (hersilentlanguage)



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies), The Isle of the Lost Series - Melissa de la Cruz
Genre: College!AU, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Hospitals, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor, United States of Auradon (Disney), consequences of something you probably shouldn't try at home, sexual themes (non-explicit), shamelessly inaccurate depiction of hospitals and medical professionals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25945087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hersilentlanguage/pseuds/Sparrow
Summary: “So,Jay… uh, no last name…?” The nurse looks up from her clipboard, smiling tightly at Jay.Carlos, sensing Jay’s hesitation, quickly steps up to answer for him. “Do you need one?” he asks, one eyebrow raised in challenge. “I told the receptionist to put mine down. De Vil.” Carlos tilts his head to indicate Jay as he adds casually, “We’re recently engaged, so…”Jay chokes on his own spit.Engaged?!He starts coughing, drawing the nurse’s attention. He waves her off with a pained smile. “Dust,” he says raspily, as if there’s even a speck in the shining ward.
Relationships: Jay/Carlos de Vil
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	Bad Case of Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up with this idea and I was just giggling to myself about it all morning, so I decided... what the heck. And here we are. ;)
> 
> **Please note: The premise of this story hinges on sexual themes. The T-rating reflects the fact that there is nothing actually graphic in this story, since all sexual content (between consenting adults) is only ever implied by plot context or jokes/innuendos.**
> 
> **Also, note that while this story does take place in a hospital, there is no focus on medical procedures or equipment (in other words, common triggers such as pills, needles, hospital food, etc. do not feature at all in this story. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to drop me an ask on Tumblr (anon asks are always welcome): @hersilentlanguage**

Jay is sitting with his legs apart on a wire-frame hospital bed, a thin blue sheet pulled up over his lap. He chances a look at Carlos, who’s sitting close in a stiff-backed chair, drumming his fingers against the black screen of his phone. Jay’s about to break the silence when Carlos’ phone begins to buzz in his hand, and a photo of Mal lights the display, overwritten by the words, _‘Potential Spam.’_

Carlos glances up when he hears Jay chuckling. He smiles a little, shaking his head as he pockets the phone without answering. “Doctor should be here soon,” he says quietly. “How’s your, uh…?” He clears his throat, and gestures vaguely at Jay, who rolls his eyes to the ceiling at Carlos’ “modesty.”

“Still in business,” Jay mutters, trying not to grimace as he shifts his weight on the mattress.

Carlos nods, and the room goes quiet again. They’re in a curtained-off section of a larger area. It’s still early in the evening, but the ward has had a sleepy air about it since they checked in maybe thirty minutes earlier. Honestly, Carlos is starting to wonder if Jay’s doctor will ever come—

Suddenly, the curtain tears open to reveal a rabbit-eyed woman with a clipboard and a stethoscope.

“Uh… hi,” says Carlos, standing to greet the woman. “Are you… Doctor Mayo?”

The woman smiles nervously between him and Jay. “Ah, no, I’m—” She pauses for only a fraction of a second, but Carlos can’t help noticing the way her eyes fall to her clipboard like she’s forgotten her own name. “—Nurse Hart.”

“Nurse _Hurt?”_ Jay asks, his tone accusing. He narrows his eyes at the woman, whose only response is to duck her head, chuckling awkwardly. She flips a page on her clipboard and busies herself with reading something, so Carlos takes the opportunity to poke Jay in the arm, getting his attention—

 _‘Nurse HART,’_ Carlos mouths at him, stabbing a finger at his chest as he repeats it: _‘HART.’_

Jay clutches at his chest, eyes widening to a comical degree. He fights down a grin, seeing Carlos’ reaction—it’s cute, the way he’s clearly estimating how much blood Jay can afford to lose in a hospital. After all, there’s a blood bank around here somewhere, and a nurse—well, maybe a nurse—already on stand-by with her handy metal… thingamajig. Sound telescope? _Close enough,_ Jay muses.

“So, _Jay…_ uh, no last name…?” Nurse Hart looks up from her clipboard, smiling tightly at Jay.

Carlos, sensing Jay’s hesitation, quickly steps up to answer for him. “Do you need one?” he asks, one eyebrow raised in challenge. “I told the receptionist to put mine down. De Vil.” Carlos tilts his head to indicate Jay as he adds casually, “We’re recently engaged, so…”

Jay chokes on his own spit. _Engaged?!_ He starts coughing, drawing the nurse’s attention. He waves her off with a pained smile. “Dust,” he says raspily, as if there’s even a speck in the shining ward.

“Mm,” Nurse Hart replies, not bothering to scrawl anything down. She squints at her clipboard, then begins to tap her pen against the stack of pages. “It says here…” She trails off, lifting her chin to stare at Jay with the barest twitch of a smirk. “You two had some trouble in the bedroom?” Her eyes flick to Carlos, who looks suddenly like he’d rather be anywhere else as she asks, “Care to elaborate…?”

There’s a long silence, finally broken when Jay not-so-subtly kicks Carlos in the shin, causing him to turn and frown. “What was _that_ for?” he demands in a low voice. His frown deepens when Jay only gazes at him imploringly, practically pouting. “No way,” says Carlos, shaking his head. “It’s _your—”_ He hesitates, his lips half-parted to form the word for a thing he’d rather not discuss with a stranger.

“Your problem,” Carlos says decisively, after an awkward beat.

Jay tugs at his sleeve, but Carlos only continues to shake his head. “Please, babe?” Jay whispers.

Nurse Hart clears her throat. _“Misters_ De Vil,” she intones with an odd smile, “if this isn’t urgent…”

Carlos heaves a sigh as he looks at Jay—a look that says Jay’s won. He doesn’t claim to understand it, but he’s weak for “please” and “thank you” and all those pretty manners that Jay (damn him) breaks out like a set of fine porcelain when he really wants something from Carlos, even if he doesn’t _need_ it.

Like right now.

Jay’s not fooling anyone—least of all Carlos. He’d waddled in here, stark naked under his silk robe, and had been just about to announce to the whole waiting room why they were there on a Monday night when Carlos had stepped in to act as his filter, because, _‘For fur’s sake, Jay, there’s a baby here.’_

Glancing back, Jay had seen a mother in the corner, rocking her swaddled infant—a literal newborn. He’d laughed and started to say, _‘Dude, that thing’s brain is like the size of—'_ (Carlos had smacked him.)

“This _is_ urgent, ma’am,” Carlos assures, turning back to the nurse with a sober expression. She shifts in her heels, looking a bit antsy to leave; all the same, she nods, encouraging him to continue. “It’s…” He hesitates, then steps closer to her, leaning in to whisper, “It’s just, um, kind of sensitive, actually.”

Humming in acknowledgement, Nurse Hart jots a note on her clipboard, then clutches it tight to her chest. She bends to Carlos’ eye level, and whispers loudly, “Nothing I haven’t heard before, kid.”

Jay snorts a laugh, which Carlos tries to ignore as he replies with forced patience, “I’m in college.”

“Oh,” the nurse says, looking him up and down like she doesn’t _quite_ believe that. “Are you sure?”

Carlos’ back is turned to Jay, but the silence is enough for Jay to imagine his expression. He bursts out laughing, accidentally doubling over in his hysterics. _“Ow,”_ he wheezes, gasping from the pain even as he continues to laugh. (He throws the nurse a thumbs up when he catches her staring.)

“Miss Hart,” says Carlos, with a plastered-on smile, “can I speak with you privately?”

Jay watches as the nurse gestures for Carlos to step a mere foot ahead to exit the curtained partition. She joins him on the other side, closing the curtains to obscure Jay’s view of them. He rolls his eyes, leaning forward as much as he dares to try and listen in on their conversation—

Carlos is whispering something remarkably incoherent, so much so that even the nurse doesn’t seem to catch it, because she cuts in a moment later, not exactly whispering: “He did _what_ to chocolate _?_ ”

Jay can see their ankles beneath the hem of the curtain. He can see how Carlos backs up a step, then tentatively leans in again, sighing a little as he tries to explain, though no more clearly than the first time.

“He dipped a _chip_ in chocolate?” the nurse asks drily. “Kid, that’s not what I’d call an emer—”

“His _dick!”_ says Carlos, throwing his hands up. “He dipped his _dick_ in _chocolate_ for _me,_ okay?!”

* * *

Ten minutes later, Jay and Carlos are sitting alone in the curtained-off space, pretending not to hear the deeply suspicious noises that echo from the other end of the ward. “I don’t think she went to get a doctor,” Jay mumbles, frowning as he remembers how the nurse’s voice had cracked with emotion.

(He’d actually thought for a second she was just that empathetic, what with her watery eyes, but—)

“I don’t think she even works here,” Carlos mutters, lifting his head from his hands to stare tiredly at Jay. “You hit the call button, right?” He gestures to the small panel of buttons on the side of Jay’s bed.

“Yeah,” says Jay, jabbing the button again for good measure. “Is it supposed to do something?”

Carlos gives him a deadpan look as he gets out of his chair, moving over to the bedside. He pushes the call button, then one of the bed controls beside it. Nothing happens. “Garbage tech,” he mutters, punching a few buttons at once. “Forget it,” he says, sniffing disdainfully, “I’m gonna see if I can—”

He startles when one of the buttons flashes orange, and the head of the bed suddenly lifts. It comes up so fast that he can only watch as Jay is toppled and folded into the mattress like sandwich meat, legs kicking out in surprise. In the aftermath, he doesn’t so much as attempt to lift the pillow off his face—just wheezes out a muffled, high-pitched, arguably dramatized gasp of, “Little help, babe?”

Carlos rushes forward, eyes wide, stuttering out apologies as he tries to manhandle the bed back into its horizontal position. He’s not successful, though he does manage to lift the top a few inches off Jay, who merely continues to lay there, hands between his legs, moaning some nonsense about his forced early retirement from “wizardry” as Carlos strains to keep the mattress off him.

“Jay, I…” (Carlos’ boots are starting to slide on the linoleum floor, emitting loud squeaks.) “I... can’t… hold it...”

“Knock, knock!” comes a pleasant voice from outside the curtain. “I’m Doctor Mayo,” says the grey-haired woman who’s now pushing through the part of the curtain, slipping off a pair of questionably stained latex gloves. “ _So_ sorry for the wait,” she chirps, “it’s just been one of those days, you kn—”

Her smile goes lopsided as she takes in the strange scene in front of her. _“Huh!”_ She pulls a clipboard out from under her arm, and frowns at it, flipping quickly through the pages. “Says here you two had some trouble in bed….” Her brows knit together as she looks up. “Not one of ours, I hope?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed whatever the heck that was. Haha. Kudos and comments are always appreciated! <3
> 
> ~~For anyone who's wondering about the nurse... let's just say she had business in the hospital, but... not as an employee.~~


End file.
